One day during highs and lows, our construction leader, Kim, talked about her low being how she got so frustrated with this man at the construction site. I remember thinking, “How frustrating could he be?” The next two times at construction, I figured it out.
Our job the next two construction days was to move large cement rings (about 400 lbs each) to different areas in the colonies and lower them into pre-dug holes, one on top of the other to create septic tanks.
The first time we moved the rings short distances and lowered them in.
Our little man friend was directing the activities. He was a bit condescending to the women, delegating them to filling the holes with dirt after the rings were all lowered in. He didn’t want any of the women helping lower the rings, but Kim and I persisted.
One particularly frustrating point was when we were lowering the first ring, he moved Kim out of the way and assigned Tyler to my rope. Then as we lowered the ring, as his side was drooping, he sternly told everyone else to “lift, lift.”
At the second site, Kim and I accompanied the guys. Kim insisted I come to be her female support in showing we could do it. Again as we lowered the rings our friend got after us to “lift, lift”. Patrick had been there observing and after awhile, when the man said “lift, lift”, as his side continued to sag, Patrick started leaning in and gesturing to him exclaiming “lift, lift.” After which some of the other Indian men started venturing to talk back to him as he got after them. I felt somewhat satisfied and vindicated as this happened.
There was a continual minor struggle throughout our time, of him not wanting us girls to help with the actual cement rings, and the girls in our group insisting to work.
I knew how to tie the ropes to lower the rings, and so I began helping with that, and little by little I felt we were coming to an understanding of each other and our different cultures. By the end of the day he was allowing Kim and I to help without protest, even handing me ropes to tie and lift, and I regretted my earlier satisfaction at the chastisement he received as I realized his actions were more a result of cultural differences than anything else. It seems in India one person is in charge and things are done their way without complaint. Women take care of the home and are rarely involved in the physical labor we were participating in. While in America we value a more collaborative effort of individual input, and adaptation as we seek to come to the best solution. Regardless of whether one way is better than the other, it is the way it is. By the end of the day, he accepted our resolve to work and I felt I came to a better understanding of his “my way is right” approach. I felt a greater appreciation for him and satisfaction as we came to common ground in an understanding and respect of each other’s cultural differences.
Two days later, as we prepared for construction again, I anticipated a continued feeling of mutual understanding. This time we were to bring the rings from one side of the colony to the other side – Tyler and I estimated about ¾ of a mile. I felt proud of Tyler and myself as we didn’t waste time incredulous at what they were asking, but ready to jump in and work.
The first two rings were painful as we formed groups of five or six and carried the rings in our hands the long distance. The disparity in height soon became apparent as the weight was difficult to distribute evenly. As we headed back for the next rings, our friend had secured two wooden poles to the ring with ropes.
We anticipated this would be a lot easier. By the end of the trip, though, I was fuming. He insisted putting Tyler opposite himself, he being quite short, despite the insistence of the rest of us to pair Tyler with someone more equal in height. This threw the weight distribution off tremendously. Then, as we were going along, we started moving somewhat sideways, rather than forward and my back was torqued. I wondered what happened and soon Sarah was by my side wanting to help up front, as he had shoved her off from helping at his end, thus throwing us into the altered position that killed my back. My back hurt, and I was indignant that he had shoved Sarah, which was the cause of the pain as well. My frustration with him was evident in my face, cultural understanding was lost.
As the day continued, my spirits lifted. Sarah got us marching in beat – “left, left, left right left” making the walking much easier as we walked more in sync.
We developed a system of teamwork to fill the hole back with dirt in record time.
We had some laughs as Kim and Nathan danced along carrying the rings through a confined area, and Kim was laughing hysterically. (We LOVE Kim)
Soon I was happy but contrite. I apologized to the man for being so upset – and again the cultural differences were apparent. He saw no need for me to apologize and had not been offended at all. He was appreciative of our help.
During my days at construction I feel I came to a much greater understanding of the need for cross-cultural understanding. Much of our behavior is defined by our cultural upbringing. Understanding that, helps us to appreciate each other more and see each other not as results of our cultural differences but as children of God, each doing the best we know and each with our own individual strengths.
Our job the next two construction days was to move large cement rings (about 400 lbs each) to different areas in the colonies and lower them into pre-dug holes, one on top of the other to create septic tanks.
The first time we moved the rings short distances and lowered them in.
Our little man friend was directing the activities. He was a bit condescending to the women, delegating them to filling the holes with dirt after the rings were all lowered in. He didn’t want any of the women helping lower the rings, but Kim and I persisted.
One particularly frustrating point was when we were lowering the first ring, he moved Kim out of the way and assigned Tyler to my rope. Then as we lowered the ring, as his side was drooping, he sternly told everyone else to “lift, lift.”
At the second site, Kim and I accompanied the guys. Kim insisted I come to be her female support in showing we could do it. Again as we lowered the rings our friend got after us to “lift, lift”. Patrick had been there observing and after awhile, when the man said “lift, lift”, as his side continued to sag, Patrick started leaning in and gesturing to him exclaiming “lift, lift.” After which some of the other Indian men started venturing to talk back to him as he got after them. I felt somewhat satisfied and vindicated as this happened.
There was a continual minor struggle throughout our time, of him not wanting us girls to help with the actual cement rings, and the girls in our group insisting to work.
I knew how to tie the ropes to lower the rings, and so I began helping with that, and little by little I felt we were coming to an understanding of each other and our different cultures. By the end of the day he was allowing Kim and I to help without protest, even handing me ropes to tie and lift, and I regretted my earlier satisfaction at the chastisement he received as I realized his actions were more a result of cultural differences than anything else. It seems in India one person is in charge and things are done their way without complaint. Women take care of the home and are rarely involved in the physical labor we were participating in. While in America we value a more collaborative effort of individual input, and adaptation as we seek to come to the best solution. Regardless of whether one way is better than the other, it is the way it is. By the end of the day, he accepted our resolve to work and I felt I came to a better understanding of his “my way is right” approach. I felt a greater appreciation for him and satisfaction as we came to common ground in an understanding and respect of each other’s cultural differences.
Two days later, as we prepared for construction again, I anticipated a continued feeling of mutual understanding. This time we were to bring the rings from one side of the colony to the other side – Tyler and I estimated about ¾ of a mile. I felt proud of Tyler and myself as we didn’t waste time incredulous at what they were asking, but ready to jump in and work.
The first two rings were painful as we formed groups of five or six and carried the rings in our hands the long distance. The disparity in height soon became apparent as the weight was difficult to distribute evenly. As we headed back for the next rings, our friend had secured two wooden poles to the ring with ropes.
We anticipated this would be a lot easier. By the end of the trip, though, I was fuming. He insisted putting Tyler opposite himself, he being quite short, despite the insistence of the rest of us to pair Tyler with someone more equal in height. This threw the weight distribution off tremendously. Then, as we were going along, we started moving somewhat sideways, rather than forward and my back was torqued. I wondered what happened and soon Sarah was by my side wanting to help up front, as he had shoved her off from helping at his end, thus throwing us into the altered position that killed my back. My back hurt, and I was indignant that he had shoved Sarah, which was the cause of the pain as well. My frustration with him was evident in my face, cultural understanding was lost.
As the day continued, my spirits lifted. Sarah got us marching in beat – “left, left, left right left” making the walking much easier as we walked more in sync.
We developed a system of teamwork to fill the hole back with dirt in record time.
We had some laughs as Kim and Nathan danced along carrying the rings through a confined area, and Kim was laughing hysterically. (We LOVE Kim)
Soon I was happy but contrite. I apologized to the man for being so upset – and again the cultural differences were apparent. He saw no need for me to apologize and had not been offended at all. He was appreciative of our help.
During my days at construction I feel I came to a much greater understanding of the need for cross-cultural understanding. Much of our behavior is defined by our cultural upbringing. Understanding that, helps us to appreciate each other more and see each other not as results of our cultural differences but as children of God, each doing the best we know and each with our own individual strengths.
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| The Scorpion Group after moving all 6 rings. |
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| Sarah and Patrick |
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